It’s almost strange how empty I feel right now. A strong sense of listlessness, perhaps even apathy? I don’t know how this could have happened.

Many things have happened since my last entry.

I made it out of the situation I was in before. It took me literally leaving in the dead of night (2023-01-08 ~11pm to ~1am), going back to my previous living situation. While not ideal, was much better than the situation I found myself in.

The “job” was essentially vaporware. While it did exist, it relied on the whims of a racist, ageist boomer with no ability to function, which has caused my an almost unending amount of stress. Not to even mention being on call 24/7.
That fucker had better be ready to catch these hands the next time I see him.

He literally threatened my job 3 times in a single day. Once over some literal boomer mental illness, and twice after I suggested that I might be interested in moving back to my home town.

My stepdad has clearly learned less than nothing from the whole “mom leaving his dumb ass” situation. He continued to find new ways to be a bigger asshole.

Anywho, the moment fuckface threatened my job the third time, I immediately got my old job back and made plans to GTFO. See above.

I made a catastrophic error and lost everything in my “Backup” folder. Including, but not limited to, my private keys, people’s public keys, old emails that aren’t online anymore, their attachments, and other stuff I can’t remember at the moment.

I still am not 100% sure on what all I’ve lost. I’ve been discovering new stuff all month.

In terms of mitigations; I am now syncing my actual personal files with OneDrive (6.99/mo for 1TB + MSOFFICE). I will also be having another on-site backup w/ my 4tb external at some point; I still need to figure out some issues with my setup.

In terms of setup issues, I have complicated things greatly by adding a laptop that acts as a server. It has all of my org documents including this one, all of my ebooks, most of my manga, all of my FLAC music files, and 3 of my TV shows. It will presumably come to hold more since the disk still has ~200gb open.

Note to self: Don’t use the external for actual media; it’s read speeds are trash.

As I continue to write more here, a vague sense of anger fills me, but even that feels distant; like remembering a memory rather than experiencing it in the moment.

Job hasn’t exactly been going well. I’m making bare minimum at the moment (250/week), but that’s enough to pay the bills, if barely.

…and now I suddenly feel whimsical. No idea how that happened.

Just went and purged a bunch of stuff off of my phone to free up some storage. Have 52gb open now and can free up another 6.8gb if/when I get rid of Spotify.
My overall combined music library is 59.4gb. I definitely have some trimming to do before this will work.

In other news, I played Fall Guys for the first time with Sakura. It was essentially Mario Party minigames if they were mostly mazes.

I don’t want to write one of these journal entries every day, especially not one of this length, because I don’t really have a whole lot going on day to day.

What I do have going on day to day usually:

  • Wake up at 1pm, clock in to work
    • If I wake up before 1pm, just get on the computer and act like i’m already on the clock minus the actual work
  • Lounge on the computer when I don’t have an order to handle
  • Handle orders as they come in

You can probably already see an issue: I can’t plan around when I will or won’t get an order, so I can only do things I can drop with a few minute’s worth of notice.
Meaning, many things that are worthwhile cannot be done during this point. I’d say this is a big reason for me turning to gachas.

  • Play SINoALICE, Assault Lily, Tower of Fantasy for dailies.
  • Finally clock out, either at 9pm (wed/thur/sun) or 10pm (fri/sat)
  • Do SINoALICE / Assault Lily colo at 1030 centray daylight time
  • Find something else to do until I’m tired enough to sleep
  • Go to sleep anywhere from 2am to 6am.

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